Tuesday, July 24, 2007

One-Liners

1.If you understand, say "understand" . If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.


3.Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.


4.A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.


5 .Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People


6 .If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?


7 .I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.


8.Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"


9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.


10.SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES


11.The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.


12.If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"


13.We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.


14.Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
15.A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue


16.If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.


17.Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.....

Words-Magic



someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(wait until you see the last one)


DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM





PRESBYTERIAN
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER






ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER






DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT






THE EYES
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE






GEORGE BUSH
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE






THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS






SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME






ANI MOSITY
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY






ELECTION RESULTS
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES LET'S RECOUNT






MOTHER-IN-LAW
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER






SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS NO MORE Z'S






A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE






THE EARTHQUAKES
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE






ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE






AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA :
When you rearrange the letters
(With no letters left over and using each letter only once):
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

Monday, July 2, 2007

Why-Newton-Commits-Suicide

Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide.....


Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.

Here are a few scenes


1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!


2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.


3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!

The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.


Newton commits suicide

Request To The Visitor.

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